Sowwy!!!

I'd like to take this post to apologize for my lapse in posting. I realize it's almost been a year. Normally I'd just say that I don't have a good excuse and chalk it up to my ill-formed attention-span gland and wicked case of Lazyitis, BUT NOT THIS TIME!!! This time I have a real solid excuse. Ready for it?

It has been an awful horrible craptastic shitstorm of a year and I just didn't have it in me.

Yeah. That's it. Boo Hoo.

It's been the hardest year of my life and the hardest year for most of my family and a few close friends. A whole lot of stuff happened. One after the other. I crawled into a hole and set up camp. Keeping up the blog would have probably helped to keep me out of the hole. I love doing it. It makes me happy. But, I didn't really want to be happy, I wanted to be sad. So that's what I did. But, I'm done being sad now, though, I'm still not quite myself, so forgive me if it takes a minute to get back in the groove.

What follows may be way too personal to be putting out there for all, but sad songs are playing on the iPod and I'm full of caffeine.

Apology time!
To those of my friends who I have felt ignored or shut out by me, I'm really sorry, and I'm working on it. For those who have been waiting for an email or phone call from me, I am also sorry, and you may have to wait a little longer. I have been an awful and nonexistent friend. I'll do my best to make up for it.

To my family - I'm sorry for not being there when I should, I'm sorry I checked out and shut down. I'm sorry that in my attempts to make peace I make a bigger mess.

To my jerk cat - I'm sorry for leaving you alone a lot and not cleaning your litter box enough. I'm sorry I have made you fat and sloven and don't let you go outside because you're a hassle to chase down. None of that is going to change, but I just wanted you to know I care.

Thank You Time!!!
To the loves of my life, Katie Ragsdale & Amy Bertel - too much to say. I'd be lost without you. You know, I don't have to tell you. Jessica Purdy, that goes for you too, even though we only email.

Katie O'Malley & Sarah Mason - I love you both and you always remind me that no matter how deep it gets buried, the real me is whimsical, colorful, creative and totally ridiculous.

Blaze Pearson, thank you for giving me what you could, for loving me as deeply as you have, for letting me be a part of your life and the lives of your children. Thank you for teaching me all that you have about commitment, fighting for what you want, confidence and metal. Thank you for holding up this bag of sad clown bones Weekend-at-Bernie's-style, and hanging on as long as you did. I love you like no other, and even though our road of romance has come to an end, you'll always be #3 to me.

To my family - thanks for always being able to make me laugh. At least that hasn't changed!! Thank you for trying to be there for me, even though I wouldn't let you.

TGIT girls - I love you. I'm reading the emails even if I'm not responding. Thank you to everyone who has given me prayers and support. Dee, Michelle, and Aimee, you're always on the journey with me and always there to let me let my ugly hang out. I miss you.

To everyone else that I have befriended here in Atlanta, you were the happy part. I hate that meeting you is included in the worst year of my life, but thank God for sending you in when He did.

There are several other friends who have provided support and prayers and love and I am deeply grateful. So thank you from the heart of my bottom. I'm sorry I didn't stay connected and didn't offer anything back.

Alright....that's it. Sad time is over. Happy time is a comin'!